Navigating Friendships
Friendships play a crucial role in childhood, helping kids develop essential social and emotional skills. However, forming and maintaining friendships can sometimes be challenging, even for children who appear settled and confident at school.
Here are some helpful tips to support your child:
1. How to Join In
For many children, initiating play or joining a group can feel intimidating. Practice phrases like, “Hi, can I join in?” or “Do you want to play?” through role-play at home. Children who feel comfortable with these phrases are often more confident in approaching peers. Role-playing is rooted in helping kids “rehearse” scenarios in a safe environment, so they will feel more relaxed in future social situations.
2. Empathy Matters
Empathy is foundational to meaningful friendships. Studies show that children who develop empathy are better equipped to form positive relationships and manage conflicts effectively. One way to nurture empathy is by reading books that explore emotions. As you read, ask questions like “How do you think they feel?” What could they do to feel better?”. This teaches children to consider different perspectives.
You can also use real-life examples, gently discussing times when someone might feel left out, and how we can help them feel included.
3. Conflict Resolution
Disagreements are normal. Role-playing or using story-based scenarios can be helpful tools to practice resolving conflicts at home where your child can practice calmly. Practicing at home builds a “vocabulary” for managing real-life disagreements. Help your child label and express their feelings using sentences such as “I feel upset because…”.
With younger children is always helpful to develop and model the idea of taking turns to talk and listen. Remind them it’s okay to ask a teacher for help if needed.
4. Initiating Play
If joining a group is tricky, suggest bringing a game to school or thinking of play ideas in advance. For younger children, pretend play at home is an excellent opportunity to practice these skills as some children might not know how to move beyond parallel play or how to join in when others are already playing. Creating scenarios that require following play narratives or taking on different roles allows children to get comfortable with group dynamics and increases their confidence in suggesting ideas. Play-dates with familiar children at new places will help them too.
5. Finding Common Interests
Help your child discover shared interests with classmates, such as sports, books, or games. Finding common ground often makes starting friendships easier and builds natural connections.
Encourage your child to explore common interests by saying things like: “I really like football! Do you want to play?” or “Do you like animals? I know a cool game!”
6. Building Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is key to lasting friendships. Studies suggest that children with high emotional intelligence tend to build more stable friendships and adapt better in social settings. Skills like empathy, emotional regulation, and active listening are key. Here’s how you can help your child build these:
Recognise Emotions Together: Teach your child to identify their own emotions by observing facial expressions and body language. A simple approach could be asking them, “How does your body feel when you’re happy or frustrated?”
Encourage Emotional Vocabulary: When emotions arise, validate their feelings. For example, if they’re disappointed about something, you could say, “I see you’re feeling sad. That’s completely okay.” Knowing they can express feelings safely with you builds a strong sense of security and self-awareness.
Active Listening Practice: Show them the power of listening by modeling it yourself. When they talk, give them your full attention. This reinforces the importance of listening to others, which they’ll carry into their peer relationships.
Recommended Reading:
• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
• How to Be a Friend by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
